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Hemoptysis: Misanthropic slaughter
23/03/11 || Love Lagerkvist
Once upon a time ol’ mister Lagerkvist set out in the wild wastes with the quest of finding a something fresh to sink his teeth into. Armed with the complete volume of “Encyclopaedia Metallum” and a plastic jar for urination, he first traversed the planes of death and destruction (also known as Arizona) in search for some fresh meat. After days of walking, his vision registered a small, fresh-smelling cottage in the distance. Cautiously, he started to walk towards it, always looking over his shoulder just in case some NWOAPM-troll decided to sneak up on him and attack with a three sizes too big cap.
Now closer, he could see the odd material selection for the house’s exterior; about a third of the front wall consisted of torn out vocal cords giving off a faint aura of death (presumably murdered in an extraordinary morbid way), with the rest being a jumbled collection of trash. All the details on the other hand, where made from something that looked like shredded pearls. The door pictured a giant demon, whose phallus served as a convenient knob.
When Love stepped into the dimly lit room, he saw something that can best be described as a squirrel massacre. But this was no simple “slightly depressed homicide”, oh no, what we had here was a full-on misanthropic slaughter. Fists where constantly pummeling on the small creatures’ stomachs like a million drums. Sure, one could easily describe the technique being used here as simple, but it did its job and the small red furs soon started looking like some kind of mutated pancakes.
One by one, the squirrels started to release the small grips of life they so dearly clutched to, giving away a high-pitched growl of death. Their breath smelled slightly of trashed bananas and by some amazing coincidence they all sounded exactly the same. Not that it really mattered anyway, as my focus slowly shifted towards the two long-haired men who with a couple of evil-looking axes soon started to chop away on the little ex-fellas.
At first, the axes flew through the air in quite a cruel manner, trashing up the legs and arms of the squirrels. Soon the slashing pattern changed, stabilizing in a relatively simple, yet fittingly rhythmic and surprisingly melodic one. The two men changed up their act between every red mammal, providing enough variation to keep Love interested. From time to time one of the chaps went into some kind of frenzy and started to shred away on the already mutilated corpses with a surprising amount of power.
After 50 minutes, he had seen enough for his mission to be complete. The act might not have been the most original thing on this plane, but that didn’t really matter. The execution was top notch, and the show itself was both plenty enjoyable and varied. Sure, there was room for improvement. But then again, nothing was perfect. The jar o’ piss started moving, and formed a strange pattern that when encrypted, looked something like this:
Oh, and Love also glimpsed some dude with a overly long stick on which he did something with four long strings. But he was too quiet and uninteresting for anyone to give a single fuck.
- Information
- Released: 2011
- Label: Self-Released
- Website: www.hemoptysismetal.com
- Band
- Masaki Murashita: vocals, axe
- Ren: bass
- Travis Thune: drums
- Ryan Miller: axe
- Tracklist
- 01. Misanthropic slaughter
- 02. Hopeless
- 03. M.O.D.
- 04. Impending doom
- 05. And the world dies
- 06. Interlude
- 07. The cycle
- 08. Blood storm
- 09. Shadow of death
- 10. Hadephobia
- 11. End of sorrow
